Ricky Smith

In my opinion sexual and gender identity issues are at a crisis level, and the church must learn how to lean in with love and reach Generation Z students, who are desperately seeking attention and looking for answers.

I don’t claim to have this figured out, and to be honest have had more experience working with homosexual students over transgender. That being said, I believe some principles I’ve learned still apply. The ideas to follow specifically apply to a youth leader who is working with a homosexual, or transgender, student in the context of a conservative, heterosexual group. Here are some thoughts:

1. Keep the eye on evangelism and discipleship:

Just because culture presents a different challenge doesn’t impact our mission and focus on reaching people with the Gospel. This is not a new problem. The ancient Romans lived this out during the time of the early church. While some sin may be considered repulsive, we must see the heart of the student and be committed to reaching them with Jesus. How we love and communicate, both verbally and non-verbally, can have an eternal impact on one’s soul. That being said, this must not be taken casually or flippantly. We must respond with grace and truth. I would commend 1 Peter 3:15 as a guiding Scripture, when it states, “But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.”

2. Parents must be on the same page:

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 establish the truth that parents have the God-given responsibility to teach and disciple their kids. This is increasingly difficult when parents are not believers or not willing to engage, but we must always lean into this Scriptural truth. Whatever game plan is established or position is taken it should be reached in cooperation with the parents. When the parents are on the same page, the process goes more smoothly.

3. The church must be on the same page:

While I don’t recommend this being discussed openly at a church conference, the pastor and key leadership must be aware of what is going on and be given the opportunity to engage in developing an approach that can be consistently enforced and biblically defended. It is detrimental to a youth leader, the family, and the student if a rouge plan is implemented that backfires. Again, this situation has eternal consequences, thus it should be handled carefully and prayerfully. This is not an “us versus them” situation, and the church should avoid a defensive posture.

4. Get ready for the long haul:

A student who struggles with sexual and gender identity issues didn’t wake up one morning and decide to be this way. There is undoubtedly a history of social, psychological, and spiritual issues that must be dealt with. While it may be easy to simply focus on what to do with youth camp, the focus must be on developing a long-range plan that must include prayer, meetings with parents, counseling, accountability, and clearly communicated expectations.

5. Boundaries must be established:

Boundaries are healthy and create borders in which effective ministry can take place. Parents and the students must accept and agree to operate under boundaries of conduct and behavior. For example, situations like rooming situations, changing of clothes, and being one-on-one with others are all examples of areas that require clear boundaries. One situation that I dealt with personally required a parent to attend any event and the student would room separately with their parent. This allowed them to participate in all group activities but protected both them and other students from any damaging allegations. While potentially painful, the boundaries should also clearly communicated consequence in advance if boundaries are broken.

6. Prepare your leaders:

The last thing you want is a student who feels isolated and excommunicated. Also, the last thing you want is for your adults to feel out of the loop. While maintaining appropriate levels of confidentiality, a communication plan should be developed to prepare leaders or those who need to know, with what the expectations are. More than keeping an eye out to chastise, their primary focus should be to express love and look for opportunities to ensure the student is included and engaged in group activities. At the same time, this is an opportunity to remind your leaders of your church’s child protection policies regarding being alone with a student.

7. Be wise:

It is easy to react in fear and the simple thing is to exclude a student. This is likely not wise, however. Be prayerful, take your time, and develop a plan that keeps the eternal destiny of the kid in mind. At the same time, don’t forget that you must also work to teach and disciple all members of the group. Don’t be fearful of this opportunity to minister. God never promised that it would be easy.

8. Every situation is unique:

I have never dealt with an issue in this arena that was clear cut and simple. The issues are complex and individualized. A church should have written child protection policy and boundaries in place that apply to all students and at all times. However, when it comes to developing a plan for a specific situation they will all look a little different. It is important to be consistent with that you have done in the past, but take your time to learn as much as you can about the circumstances and be willing to tailor a plan of action.

I don’t feel this is an exhaustive list of guiding principles but hope that it gets you started.

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